- Boredom. You’re uninterested in the person and the date itself. You’ve lost the excitement that accompanies meeting someone new. You dread having to create that introductory message.The first date jitters are replaced by feelings of indifference. At this point you’re just putting on a performance. The desire is gone.
- Loss of Hope. You’ve sent several messages but rarely get any in return. You’ve gone on several first dates but haven’t made it to a second or third. You don’t believe there’s anyone out there for you. Saying you feel discouraged would be an understatement.
- Oversharing. You’ve been on so many bad dates that you cannot resist sharing. Instead of getting to know the person across from you, you spend your meetup rehashing your past experiences.
Ways to Recover
- Take a break. Bow out of the dating game for at least a month. Focus on yourself and figuring out what you need to feel rejuvenated. What makes you happy? What do you need to feel fulfilled? Use this time to rediscover yourself.
- Adjust your expectations. Do you have the rest of your life planned out with this person before the actual date even starts? Instead of planning for the future, focus on the now. Take the pressure off yourself by recognizing that this is just one date and one conversation. Focus on getting to know the person in front of you. When you view a date as an audition for a life partner, you invite an immense amount of pressure into your outing.
- Be upfront. What are you looking for? A relationship? Friend with benefits? Life partner? Be honest about what it is that you want. When you’re not upfront about your intentions, you increase your chances of wasting time.
- Don’t force it. Everyone is not compatible. It’s okay to express disinterest.There isn’t a penalty system. Don’t waste your time trying to force feelings that weren’t ever there.
If you’re experiencing dating fatigue, know that you are not alone. Learn to recognize when you need a break and take the time to regroup. Dating can be a great experience once you know your limits.
This post was written by Malyka Cardwell, MFT.