Remember, communication requires the listener to understand. Much of the way we communicate today doesn't provide for this if the speaker isn't taking this into account. There are no facial expressions or unspoken communication to give more meaning to what is being said when talking happens via text. Even phone calls provide additional information through tone of voice.
Texting and messages and these types of communication are fine for small talk, but are ripe for miscommunication in more serious discussions and fights. Even conversation on the phone can be inappropriate, such as on the bus or walking down the street, and even dangerous while driving a car.
Take the time you have away from each other to calm down and focus on other things, like work, and find some time during the day to think before re-engaging with your partner later in the day. Come together with clear heads and a better understanding of what you want to say and how you want to say it.
Fighting over issues is the easy way out, but a relationship that each person finds value in is a relationship worth fighting for, it's just a different type of fighting – usually within yourself to make the communication more productive for the relationship.
This topic of the week was written by Brian Swope, MFT