Philadelphia MFT - Psychotherapy for the modern world
Follow Philadelphia MFT on Social Media
  • Home
  • Therapists
    • Danielle Massi, LMFT
    • Brian Swope, LMFT
    • Alanna Gardner, MFT
    • Malyka Cardwell, MFT
  • Services
    • Types of Therapy >
      • Sex Therapy
      • Couple's & Systemic Therapy
  • The Blog
  • Contact

Philadelphia MFT

... A New Perspective on You and Your Relationships

Schedule an Appointment

Is Love Enough?

10/28/2014

1 Comment

 
Picture
Last Friday I had the pleasure of co-presenting a relationship workshop at the Black Doctoral Network Conference. Many interesting points were discussed, but the topic of love stood out the most. The question of whether love alone was enough to sustain a relationship stuck with me. This is an interesting topic because the notion that love isn’t enough goes against everything ingrained in people. We are taught that love is a powerful feeling that can transcend boundaries, touch anyone, and is the cure for all. This belief is true to an extent but undermines other factors. In a relationship, love is the springboard but other things need to be present in order to stick the landing. Society has pitched the idea of happily ever after without showing the dirty work that goes into ensuring this future. Love alone is not enough to keep a relationship together. Here a few factors that need to be combined with love in order to make a relationship work:


Communication: Often times, relationships experience tension because two people do not know how to communicate with each other. You have to be able to express what you need and want out of your relationship. If you do not advocate for your desires no one else will. Do not assume that your partner knows what you need. Being in love doesn’t transform people into telepaths. Get in the habit of talking about the things that are working, as well as the things that need improvement.


Emotional Independence: It is important to be in charge of your own emotions. Be able to feel without having to rely on your partner. Your partner should compliment you not complete you. Your partner should make you feel happy but you should be able to feel this way alone as well. If your emotions are tied into someone else, you are setting yourself up for unavoidable disappointment.


Emotional Transparency: Be upfront with your intentions and expectations. Leave no room for assumptions. It’s important to let a person know where you stand in your relationship. How are you feeling? Where do you see things going? The answers to these questions shouldn’t have to be guessed. So much time gets wasted in relationships trying to assume what the other person is thinking or feeling. Often times, the assumption is off which only leads to more problems. Eliminate this tension by being upfront.


Love is an important factor in a relationship but it is not enough to keep things afloat if there is nothing else. If you find yourself staying in a relationship solely because of love, it may be time to reevaluate a few things.


This Topic of the Week was written by Malyka Cardwell, MFT.

1 Comment

3 Reasons Why Millennials Should Start Therapy

10/22/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
Millennials, or Generation Y, are individuals who are between the ages of 18-33. Their predecessors often criticize them for being self-centered, narcissistic, and entitled but millennials have proven to be driven, ambitious, and innovative; especially when it comes to developing ideas and entrepuernerism. However you want to categorize them, it's becoming clear that millennials hold the key to the future. With that said it is important that millennials start their therapeutic journey sooner than later. Here are three reasons why millennials should start therapy:  

Work Through Family Issues and Trauma
During the early 20's and 30's individuals are breaking away from their family and past issues to create their own lives. During the process, some recognize the impact that family issues and trauma have had on them. When not handled correctly, past issues can cause one to feel overwhelmed or debilitated; often leading to negative coping skills that cause more harm than good. Therapy gives millennials the steps necessary to be introspective about problems and effectively cope with trauma while also working through issues that pop up with family, friends, or romantic partners.


Build a Foundation for Healthy Relationships

Millennials are diving into serious relationships with some choosing to take the plunge into marriage and/or starting a family. Millennials can benefit from therapy by gaining clarity on what they want out of relationships, understanding how they function with partners, and how to maintain a sense of personal identity. Pre-martial counseling with a professional like a Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT), can help young couples practice the tools they need to have and maintain a successful marriage. The relationship skills built in therapy can also translate to non romantic relationships as well. Establishing healthy boundaries, often covered during therapy sessions, are needed to have effective working and familial relationships.

Learn Effective Coping Skills for Stress and Anxiety
With thousands of dollars in student loan debt and scarce job opportunities, many millennials are more stressed than ever. With the pressures of the world on their shoulders, millennials are becoming the front runners for anxiety and depressive disorders. Therapy can offer tools like Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to keep negative thoughts, emotions and anxiety at bay.

Therapy at any age is powerful but can truly be life changing and effective for those in their 20's and early 30's. They are creating and making decisions that will set the tone for the rest of their lives. Adding a therapist to their resources can provide clarity and direction while challenging them to grow in ways that can significantly improve their lives and relationships.

This topic of the week was written and presented to you by Alanna Gardner, MFT
0 Comments

Accepting Yourself to Find a New You

10/13/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
It feels counterintuitive to seek acceptance rather than change as the first step toward a goal. We are bombarded with images and messages of who we could be, how much better we'd be if only ..., what others are looking for, etc. etc.

Is it any wonder that the prevalence of depression is on the rise the United States? Anxiety disorders are the most reported mental health disorder. This may be two-fold, accounted for by both an increased depressive/anxious feeling within people, and a push to medicate (i.e., more people reporting this to get medicated) away the problem.

How could we feel anything other than depressed when for many people, everything they see in the mirror does not match the images and messages they are told they need to be? How can we expect something other than anxiety from our own push to meet inflated expectations?

The United States is a country of more than 300 million people and rather than embracing the diversity inherent in such a large group of people, people are trying to fit just a handful a labels.

The discrepancy between who we truly are and who we are trying to be is a taxing effort on the mind. To both strive for something we aren't, while disliking who we are takes us further from the goal by sinking us with self hate. The internal effects of depression and anxiety show through in our unhappiness and hypervigilance and get in the way of connecting with people, of finding relationships, and being happy.

Accepting ourselves is not a panacea for depression or anxiety; there are chemical aspects to this that are genetic and biological, but genetic and biological component do not account for the growing proportion of the population who meet the criteria for these mental health issues.

By accepting who we are, we get a better sense of what we are capable of doing and of being. The change that happens then is based on what we have been given to work with, rather than an end goal that isn't even on our own field.

Finding acceptance isn't easy in this day and age. An interesting article by Bruce E. Levine views mental health issues as more of a “rebellion against society.” So how can we begin to find acceptance?

  1. Acknowledge the accomplishments you have made. It is important to see your capabilities before you can begin to make any changes.

  2. See yourself as beautiful. Think John Legend's “All of You” lyric: “perfect imperfections.” It can help you better focus on the substantial changes you want to make.

  3. Follow your strengths, they can take you beyond the limitations you see.

  4. Know yourself. You can't possibly have a path going forward if you don't know where you are now. Some of this is wrapped up in the first 3 points, but it's more than that. Why do you want (to be) something different? How can you be something different, someone who hasn't had your experiences? Who are you doing this for?

Finding acceptance in yourself before you set out on a path of change can bring your goals into focus much more sharply without the noise of external messages and the emotional dampening that can come with medication. It is character building and self affirming, and for some people, just what the doctor ordered.

This Topic of the Week was written by Brian Swope, MFT.


0 Comments

What to Do When Your Partner is Depressed

10/7/2014

0 Comments

 

 If you are in a relationship with someone who suffers from depression, you are likely to feel confused by how to best help them. First, educate yourself on what depression is and the signs and symptoms. Being informed will help you better understand what your partner is experiencing. Next, assist them in seeking professional help if they haven’t done so already. Someone who is experienced at treating depression will be your best resource for helping your partner navigate his or her feelings. If your partner would like moral support, you can see a therapist trained to work with groups (such as an MFT) and attend therapy with them. Lastly, be able to recognize signs of suicide. These include having thoughts of taking their own life, making statements about things being better without them, sudden and unexplained happiness after a period of severe depression, and giving away their possessions. If your partner has done any of these, contact emergency services immediately.

This topic of the week was brought to you by Danielle Adinolfi, MFT

0 Comments

    Archives

    November 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    January 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012

    Categories

    All
    Addiction
    Anxiety
    Bullying
    Chronic Illness
    Communication
    Disease
    Disorders
    Divorce
    Family
    Friendships
    Grief
    Heart Disease
    Relationships
    Work Related Stress

    RSS Feed

Schedule your appointment today!


Hours

M-S: 9am - 9pm
Photos used under Creative Commons from Tavallai, Free Grunge Textures - www.freestock.ca, Ronald (Ron) Douglas Frazier, forum.linvoyage.com, steffy., Jonathan Rolande, Mohammed Jaffar, Arun kumar | Photography, nparekhcards, CarbonNYC [in SF!], Bookis, Arya Ziai, sheggy, Free for Commercial Use, Ted Drake, hyacinth50, Emery Co Photo, scatto felino, OUCHcharley, Simon & His Camera, aqsahu, ChristophLacroix, LadyV25, Keoni Cabral, Rosmarie Voegtli, Skley, jk+too, apparena, laradanielle, miguelb, Emery Co Photo, geishaboy500, Momentchensammler, elidr, mypubliclands, PinkPersimon, _-0-_, LOLren, spinster cardigan, westconn, katerha, Mitya Kuznetsov, Daquella manera, Spirit-Fire, haven't the slightest, RowdyKittens, Kathleen Waters Photography, Jangra Works, 準建築人手札網站 Forgemind ArchiMedia, Cristiano Betta, derrickcollins, Wanna Be Creative, Lodderup, .FuturePresent., urbaneapts, woodleywonderworks, sara biljana (account closed), C. K. Hartman, timo_w2s, William Hook, Courtney Emery, LaVladina, mynameisharsha, SHOTbySUSAN, Crystl, Pink Sherbet Photography, Thuy Pham, CJS*64 A man with a camera, braerik, Kirt Edblom, BaileyRaeWeaver, K Tao, Matt McGee, Alex Mueller's Daily Photo, LeonArts.at, seyed mostafa zamani, AJC ajcann.wordpress.com, Sean MacEntee, ChrisHaysPhotography, theglobalpanorama, charlie 13N, mindfreeze86, Bill Kasman