Another hurricane hits New Orleans. Another disaster with the last hurricane still fresh in the minds of those who live there. Homes, family history and more washed away. Trauma is also experienced by war refugees, earthquake survivors, 9/11 on survivors and witnesses and family to rape, assault or abuse.

Trauma is any event that overwhelms us. There are little “t” traumas – everyday stressors and those that cause disruption to our development. And there is big “T” trauma – rape, assault, natural disasters, terrorist attacks and war. A concern with trauma – from therapist's perspective is development of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, which is an exaggerated reaction to trauma, when the person's sense of self changes. After, a person may blame him or herself for the event as a way to keep the world safe.

When an affair occurs in a relationship, the non-offending partner experiences severe trauma akin to having gone through a serious car accident. Their entire world has been altered, and it may feel as though they are completely disoriented. This is not to say affairs happen in a vacuum; in fact, both partners’ lives will be thrown into disarray as a response to the affair. It is of extreme importance that the couple attempts to accomplish the following three tasks:

1. Find coping strategies for the emotional pain being experienced
2. The non-offending partner should only learn enough information about the affair that he/she may be able to make an informed decision to either stay in the relationship or terminate it and move on (too much detail may only make things worse)
3. Decide mutually whether the relationship is worth saving
   

A therapist trained in marriage and family therapy can be of great assistance while couples seek to accomplish these three tasks and regain stability in their lives. When couple’s attempt to fix their marriage post-affair without assistance from a professional, they often complicate the situation and drive it into further disrepair. And when they attempt to dissolve their marriage without professional help, they often focus only on the affair and forget about their children who suffer greatly during divorce proceedings. The therapist’s at Philadelphia MFT are experienced in helping couple’s that are experiencing the aftermath of an affair. Whether you and your partner choose to remain together or to end your marriage, call us to have a consultation and decide if Philadelphia MFT is the right fit for you.

This topic of the week was written by Danielle Adinolfi, MFT

Placebo Effect refers to a noted improvement by the patient(s) as part of a study, despite said patient(s) not receiving the medication or treatment, but rather, a sugar pill or another chemical that does not have a healing effect.

The Placebo Effect speaks to the ability of the mind to believe. Belief that the body is being treated. Belief that medication works. Such as with an antidepressant or some other medical treatment.

It can go the other way, too.Viagra, for instance has a success rate of between 80% and 90% with men with mild erectile dysfunction. That means something else is at work – could it be deeper problems in the relationship, or some other issue with a root in the mind?

All the commercials for ED medicinal treatments tell you to talk to your doctor before taking, but it might not be a bad idea to talk to a therapist either, one who specializes in sex therapy. A good sex therapist won't rule out medicinal treatments, or some other medications, but he or she will look into other avenues of dealing with this issue and suggesting a doctor's visit, too, to rule out some biological issues.

As noted earlier in this post, the Placebo Effect accounts for some improvement in psychological issues, too. Talking with a therapist about issues happening in your life, your relationships, your family and more can also show improvement with anxiety, depression and other issues.

The therapists at Philadelphia MFT are trained in a range of issues and specialize in sex therapy. Give us a call if you'd like to get to the root of the issues that are making life more difficult for you.

This topic of the week was written by Brian Swope, MFT