For a seed to sprout, there must be water, sun/warmth and a surface to take root on. It means breaking out of the shell, sometimes before all the conditions are right. It’s a leap of faith.

What do you need to take root and grow as spring draws ever closer?

Having a goal is good, but having a plan is better. This as the ground as your plan; it’s what the supports the goal. Maybe it is to try something new, or get back into dating. Maybe it means breaking up because your relationship isn’t letting you grow. Regardless of the goal – for change within or outside of yourself, knowing what it will take to accomplish this will mean truly understanding it and yourself in the process. It may not be easy, but do no equate that with impossible. Build up the expectations that most match the reality of yourself and let this inform the steps along the way.

Let the goal be the sun and warmth, something to attract you to it, basking in your accomplishments along the way. Even before the seed flowers, there is sun and warmth to coax the next step along the way. Honor yourself.

Whatever and whomever it might be, let your supports be the water that feeds your plan. Who can you lean on in tough times; with whom can you align your plan to keep each other accountable? The people you surround yourself with should be cheering you on, either loudly or quietly, rather than blocking or tearing you down.

You will stumble at some points, but rather than a reason to call it quits, let it be something to learn from. Adjust your expectations, your plan or your supports. There is always a right time; too early or too late doesn’t make it impossible, it just means a different path to the end goal.

From the flower comes seeds, seeds of learning and growth for yourself on your next journey.

This process happens without a therapist, but if you find supports, or understanding yourself to be difficult, time spent with a therapist can mean exploring your options and yourself in a safe environment. A space where you can be free to think out loud, and consider the most silly to the most serious goals and plans.

The therapists at PhiladephiaMFT are client-focused; we are here to help you develop the skills you have and to build new ones as necessary toward your purpose.

This Topic of the Week was written by Brian Swope, MFT.

    Now what?

    Making friends as an adult is an increasingly difficult task. So much so that there are a steadily growing population of people who lead little to no social life outside of the Internet. Connection is one of our primary needs as human beings, yet it seems it is getting harder to maintain all the time. So how is it done? I'm glad you asked! Here are four tips to help you on your journey to making friends as an adult:

1. Don't say no to an invitation         
       We've all done it- an invitation gets sent your way for a happy hour or birthday get-together and you just blow it off. This is sabotaging your chance to make new friends! Whenever possible, say yes and go in with an open mind.​ 

2. Engage in a hobby
       Is there a class you've always wanted to take but been reluctant to try? Now is the time. You'll meet people who share a similar interest, so you know you already have something in common.

3. Ask your friends to introduce you 
       This sort of seems like dating, but making friends can often feel like that. Put some feelers out to the friends you already have letting them know you're interested in expanding your social circle. Chances are that if you like your friend, you're likely to like their friends too.

4. Reconnect with old friends
       If there is someone you haven't seen in a while but would like to see again, stop procrastinating and reach out to them. It's easy to fall back into old friendships because of your shared history, even if it's been a while.

This Topic of the Week was written by Danielle Adinolfi, MFT