With money being the number one cause of most American divorces, finances is an extremely important topic for engaged couples. Be completely honest and forthright concerning each other's spending habits as well as your plans for saving money long term. A conversation around credit and the amount of debt being brought into the marriage is also a great point to touch on.
Even if the two of you are blissfully engaging in a wonderful sex life, its great to discuss your expectations surrounding sexual interactions once you become married. Oftentimes people have fears around what their sex life will look like once they are married. Discussing this a head of time and making sure the both of you are on the same page sexually will ease some of these concerns.
Learning how to communicate with each other in a healthy way will positively impact your marriage. Having the tools to effectively discuss issues, even when things become heated, will allow you to both maintain a level of respect for one another. Also knowing how to communicate your wants and needs to your partner will help you avoid levels of resentment to creep into your union.
They often say that when you marry your spouse you also marry their family. Seriously consider how much you want your in laws to be involved in your marriage. Differences in family upbringing, closeness and culture can greatly impact a marriage. Another huge factor to discuss is whether or not you want (or don't want) children. It seems obvious but many couples just believe it is a given that their partner wants children and it sometimes isn't the case.
If both of you are not religious then this may not be an issue. However many couples come from different religious beliefs and it can negatively impact the relationship if the couple doesn't discuss the importance the religion has on their lives and relationship. Some questions to consider include:
"Will your partner need to convert in order to wed you?"
"What religion will you raise your children?" (if you choose to have them)
"Do you want your spouse to be as actively involved spiritually as you?"
These are all things to consider regarding religion and marriage.
The above topics may not be significant to you now but can greatly change throughout the course of your marriage. Discussing them and learning how to be on the same page before you tie the knot will help you and your spouse soundly exchange vows. If you're interested in learning more about this topic and are considering pre-martial counseling feel free to call or email the therapists of Philadelphia MFT for more information and check out our current special on Yelp!
This topic of the week was written by Alanna Gardner, MFT